Journals
by shaneequa
Summary: -Complete- MS.Samantha's secrets are stored in her journal. Could they help to find her?
1. Prologue

First Fanfic. Hope you guys like it.

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"Sam, are you cutting yourself?" Danny asked seeing Sam's wrist with slashes. Sam looked up at hi and shook her head.

"I wore a bracelet playing volleyball that's all," Sam said knowing that Danny wouldn't buy it anyways, it didn't hurt for her to try. Danny just rolled his eyes—just what Sam predicted he would do and he brushed it off. He thought that Sam isn't the kind of person to do that. She's strong.

"Okay, but you know, if you need to talk about anything...I'm here Sam," Danny reminded her. This time, it was Sam's turn to roll her eyes, she knew that, she just didn't want to talk to anyone about anything. They wouldn't understand, they wouldn't. Depression was something that she's use to dealing with, and the only way she deals with it is keeping it bottled up inside her, but this depression was new and she didn't know how else to channel her depression, so she cuts.

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"Martin! Stop it!" a brunette woman shrieked. Sam turned her face to look at them standing in the shadows. From there, she saw Martin's hands going up and down the woman's body. 

"I can't babe, you are so gorgeous that... I can't keep my hands off of you," Martin said to her more out loud though, loud enough for Sam to hear on the other side of the street.

"Fine, just because you can't keep your hands off me," She said giggling.

Sam was sitting on the bench on the other side. It hurt her for Martin to say those things to another woman and it hurt her that another woman would say those things back. Martin was suppose to be hers. Hers and hers only.

"TAXI!" The brunette said holding her hand out as the taxi stopped. Martin sat still on the bench on the other side. He swore that he saw a hint of blonde hair across the bench from him, the color hair that he wouldn't ever forget. But he shook those thoughts aside. It was probably his guilt. It had been less than a week since the break up and him finding someone hot, smart and beautiful, someone like Sam but not like her at all, was getting to him because it was too fast.

"Martin, aren't we sharing a cab?" she shouted at him as he sat on the bench thinking about Sam.

"Yeah, sorry, dozed off," Martin said standing up and walking towards the cab, but not without sparing one last look across the side walk at Sam.

"Thinking about me?" The brunette asked him.

"Yeah, I was thinking about you," Martin said following the brunette into the cab.

_'He's moved on Samantha, get over him,'_ Sam told herself while mentally slapping herself in the process. She didn't know that Martin could move on that quickly. She didn't know that she couldn't get over him that quickly, not even meaningless fuck made her move on like she use to with the other men in her life. Not even a cold bath... And not even the last thing she tried, not even cutting made her move on... But maybe what she did before would do just the trick. And that thing was running away...

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"Sam? Are you here?" Danny asked at the door, he wanted to check that Sam didn't really do anything stupid to her body, he wanted to make sure as a brother that Sam was okay.. 

"Sam?" Danny asked knocking on the door loudly once again.

For what seemed like 30 minutes, Danny stood outside knowing on Sam's door, he rang her house phone and he rang her cellphone, nothing, no replies. So he dialed the number of the person he knew had access inside, Martin.

"_Fitzgerald"_

"Martin, do you have the key for Sam's apartment?" Danny asked quickly, he didn't want to 'beat around the bush' knowing that something may be wrong with Sam.

"_Yeah, we haven't traded things yet, why?"_

" I need it, she won't answer her cell, her home phone and there isn't anyone answering the door," Danny said worried.

"_I'll get there in ten," _

Danny shoved his phone back into his pocket and sat down his back against the door, he really wished and hoped that Sam—his sister and his best friend was okay on the other side...


	2. Found it, found them

I'm not good at case-files, so this is uhn... Romance and all with flashbacks and stuff k?

Oh, and since I decided to update this, can I get a WOOHOO?! lol. Sorry for the so much lack of updates and thanks to Carol for not letting forget this story as well xD

Reviews please?

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It happened so fast calling Jack to tell him about Sam missing and then looking around for anything suspicios things. Things that may indicate struggling--the found none. Evidence... Anything...

"Does she keep a diary? A journal or something? Those would come in handy right now," Danny asked Martin as he walked into the bedroom to find Martin sitting at the edge of the silk covered bed tracing the edges of a framed picture.

"Uhn..."

"You okay, man?" Danny asked Martin. He didn't seem okay. The whole time when they realised what was happenng, he stayed uiet and to himself. Danny needed him to talk, especially since Martin has been the closest to Sam as they all will ever be in the past year.

"Yeah, I'm alright. It's Sam that we've got to worry about," Martin stated rubbing his watery eyes putting the picture back where he knew it belonged--at her bedside table next to the alarm clock; where he insisted it should be placed at.

"She does keep a journal, it's in her office," Martin told Danny not meeting his gaze. Danny just nodded and went into th second bedroom which much to his surprise, had changed since the last time he was there.

The room was repainted;red--Sam's favorite color. The book self had been moved to the left wall while the right wall was occupied with a portrait of her and Martin and a solo of both of them. It really seemed to Danny that they were more than just sleeping together, they loved each other. Or at least Sam did, for her to do these things. She must love him deeply.

Danny walked over to he table which sat at the far end of the room, and again, there stood a picture frame, where he recognized was the one he took of the two. Making a mental note that he should ask them for their gratitude on that, he looked in the first drawer and saw it. It looked like the diary of little ten year old by the cover of it, but Danny knew what was inside of it, was far more complex than the crush stories of a ten year old. It was Sam's life. Sam's oh so complicated life.

Opening it, he started to read the first page...

_I had to start a new notebook. I filled the other one. I didn't even notice since I haven't written here for so long. Martin had told me that it's good that I have one--or a collection I should say. He says it's good because in case I get amnesia (which we also had a playful fight about), I could always turn to the diaries to help me know who I am. I knew I kept these for a reason!_

_Back to the reason that I haven't been writting in this notebook(or the one before it) for so long is because I spend waaayyy to much time with Martin and in his palace as he likes to call it(I'm sure I've mentioned it somewhere in the previous notebook before)_

_Today's case was exhausting. A woman--similar to me--disappearing. I hate that. She ran away from her family because she couldn't take it anymore (something we all know I did once) and... I'm just glad that Martin helped me throught it. Helping me cope with it and all. _

_Now I have to go, he's calling me. I think he needs help paiting this whole room because he's doing a poor job (what do you expect? He's high-maintinance complete with a maid and all). I'd rather stay here and enjoy the view though (his nice firm ass). Did I mention I love him? I don't know if I ever did. Do... Well, now. I do have written it. It's official. I love him. _

_Yours,_

_Samantha Spade(-Fitzgerald)_

Danny looked at it and smiled. That was... It wasn't helpful to their investigation, but it was nice to know that Sam had been happy when she was with Martin. He wondered why Martin had broken it off, maybe that's why she ran? Or did she even run? He was certainly considering it now, with how she had explained she loved Martin only in one page, the break up--he guessed--would've destroyed her. Flipping his phone open, Danny had called Jack telling him about her diaries, Jack ad ordered to read them because they might just hold something about her that they don't know leading them to her. Hopefully there was.

"Did you find it?" Martin asked walking inside the room. Danny looked up at him and nodded his head.

"Where are the rest of them?"

"Rest of what?"

"Her journals--notebooks. Whatever she called it,"

"It's uhm..." Martin said walking over to the filing cabinet net to the book shelf and opening it. "Right here. Why? You found something?"

"Nope," Danny said. It wasn't really a lie. He really didn't find anything. He just assumed something. "Just thought they would be helpful into tracking Samantha down. Are you sure you don't know a place where she would go to think?"

"No," he denied. At least he didn't think she would dare to go there anymore. It was too far and... It was his spot that turned to their spot that turned back into his. It wasn't her anymore and he doubted it was ever.

"Okay, well... I called Jack a little beforeLet's start reading the journals and see what we get out of them," Danny said. "You want to start with this one?" he asked offering Martin the notebook he just recently read a page of.

"Sure," Martin said taking the notebook and starting at the first page.

For hours to come, everything was silent as they read about how life was like in Sam's point of view...

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Hope I didn't disapoint you guys with this update...

Please Review xD


	3. Martin

For Carol; my nagging person (;

Hope you guys enjoy...

Read and Review!

Disclaimer: I own nothing... Although I wish I did... I don't know how to spell that guys name from 10 ways to... blahh. And the nursery characters and cartoons aren't mine... grrr! Like i said. I don't own anything but my weird mind (; coz if I did... We'd all notice a change in WaT episodes... Catch my drift?

Enough with the ramblings...

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Martin sat down with a sigh. He would really rather be somewhere else than looking through the diaries of Samantha Spade. To be honest, he didn't really think he should be doing such thing. For one, it was Sam's privacy and two... He really didn't want to read anything that was going on in her complex mind. He'd had enough trying to figure it out and he was afraid the diaries would confuse him even more. He didn't need that; nobody did. But he didn't have a choice, it was his job and no matter how everything in him was saying that it was wrong looking through Sam's diary, he couldn't do anything about it.

He started with the second page. He figured that Danny had already started with the first one and came up with nothing. He insisted it was nothing then, after all, it seemed that Danny would know about Sam that he did. They've been friends for far longer and even though they were never _close_ like Martin and Sam had once been, he figured that what little Sam told him was nothing compared to what Danny knew about her.

_I'm all smiles today. Don't ask why! Well, you probably already know because I wrote it down not too long ago. _

_I LOVE MARTIN ANDRE FITZGERALD!!!_

_(so fxcken much!) _

_I didn't tell him though. I think he knows. Or maybe not? He surely knows. I mean, he should the way we get crazy and passionate and tender and all these things at night sigh. I don't know how I'll live without him. I don't even plan too. I love him to much and I think he loves me... Or he cares about me too much too! He wouldn't hurt me like Grumpy nor would he use me like Mickey Mouse. Like Goldilocks said... He's not too this, he's not too that. He's just right. PERFECT. And he's mine! MINE!!! _

_Possessive much? Oh well. He seems to like the hickies I leave on his neck and all around his body... _

_I know I should tell him soon... But I don't think I can. I know he won't hurt me and it's just the stupid neurotic brain/self/heart that's saying he'll hurt me in the end like all the other... I think it's because he likes to run from me instead of facing me? I don't know.. Enough with the serious! I'm done with serious! I'm not at work so... But swear I'll work on it. Those little... (or big) problems of moe... I guess I'll have to...For Marty... _

Martin stared at it in disbelief. Sam was in love with him?! Head over heals in love... Boy was he glad that Danny only read the first entry. He hoped that there wasn't hints of their sexual details in there like this one. He never imagined Sam to write these things here. But of course she would! She was a girl and as closed of she was... She needed to let things out still like a normal person. She let's it out here as it looked like.

Seeing as there were more writing; Martin continued reading. He really was learning so many new things about Sam and in only one entry. Imagine if he read the whole thing!

_The case today was easy. There was no case at all and the only time I wasn't bored was when Danny had pointed out that the empty interrogation room should be put to good use. Seems like nobody at all had a case today! Except for those high-maintenance WCC guys (Marty use to be one but he's not anymore) who don't even use our interrogation rooms so that was okay. Me and my hot hot hot (hotter than Brad Pitt and Matthew Maconehay... Okay, so I don't know about the second one...) boyfriend put in good use... You know what I'm saying? Too much details probably. But like I said, if I ever have amnesia... I want to remember that! Should probably start writing dates on here to know when it happened. Oh well! I'll do it next time..._

_Oh, yesterday. Martin shared with me the most beautiful place in New York and it was breathtaking! It wasn't a tourist spot where there were loud teenagers running around having fun (although that would be refreshing to see after a hard case) this was too! It was just woods. None of those city noises and... I would gladly live there if I had a choice. Maybe in retirement? With Marty of course..._

_My baby's calling me. I'll write more later._

_Yours,_

_Mrs. Fitzgerald_

_(I like how it sounds!)_

_(You should too!)_

_(I love Martin!!!)_

Taking a few moments to think about what she wrote there, a smile came on his face. He would want to remember that day too! The one where they did it in the interrogation room 3. It was such a new thing for him and it wasn't the end... It was a refreshing thing to remember the good parts of their relationship... It was almost the end of it too as he remembered this incident being no more than two months from that day.

He looked over at Danny who had a smile on his face nodding. As much as he was curious at what Danny was reading, he focused on the one in front of him. It seemed to be the latest one she has been writing in and hopefully before the end of her entries, they would get a clue as to where she is... There were no signs of struggle in her apartment which he didn't know how to take. At least if there were they wouldn't be clue less as to what the hell they're up against... As ironic as it sounded, he would gladly trade Sam being taken rather than not knowing where the hell she was and why the hell she was nowhere around...

Flipping the notebook, he saw there were quite a few more entries he had to go through, he really needed to start reading before it was too late...

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Review please (; 


	4. Samantha's Secret

For Carol :)

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She stared in the water not knowing what it was she was doing there. Actually she did, she came there to run away. She was pretty sure nobody knew about her connection to this spot, and the one man that did didn't really care much less remember about her and this spot. It was the first man who showed her love—proclaimed his love for her at the very same spot—left her for another not a year later in the same spot. He was just like Martin, and just like the rest of them to follow him. So once again, she stood there alone her hands around herself trying to keep warm as her heart became that much more colder, lonier, torn and broken.

It's been a week since she had left New York. It was a good thing she had kept a stash of cash with her always as she had thought _in case of emergency_. She wondered if her—the team had stopped the investigation on her that she anticipated they would open. She didn't leave any notes saying goodbye. It wasn't really a goodbye. She just had to have some time off and them not knowing about it because she was unsure whether or not she realy mattered to them. She sighed reaching in her pocket and taking out her wallet a picture of the team. She knew their every move. Inch by inch. _She knew _them. That's why she had tried so hard to not leave any marks that would lead them to her. She had waited three days before moving o get the bus. They certainly wouldn't be checking anything anymore. She had walked around a wig over her blonde hair so that if ever someone would recognize her, it wasn't her they recognized. In short, she had perfected the ways to run away as she had been working with finding those who ran or went missing.

She wished she could call Danny though, or Vivian. She needed advice. Now, really, more than ever. She just couldn't stomach going back in New York where everywhere she would look, she would see Martin there. It was suffocating. Especially since he was the one to leave her. He was the one who suddenly stopped caring. He was the one who had moved on.

"Ms. Reign?"

"Hey Sarah," Samantha replied with a smile a little confused as to why a fifteen year old would be wandering this far into the woods. Sarah was the daugther of the owners of the nearest motel nearby. The girl must be familiar with these woods as she was. Samantha's mother's house wasn't that much far off from the spot. A mere hour drive.

There was a pregnant silence that seemed to settle to them as Sarah clutched the old worn out doll that she seemed to be a little too old to be playing with. Samantha observed. They both seemed to be in deep thought just allowing the sounds of nature to help them cope.

"Why are you here Sarah? It's pretty far in."

"I don't know," Sarah shrugged. "It's just, every year, I would go here hoping that my parents came back for me."

"You're parents?"

Sarah just nodded. "Momma and Felix found me here at this day. They said they were just taking a walk out by the Jasmine Bushes and they heard my cries. They told me that when they followed the cries, they crossed paths with a woman with blonde hair and that she was really crying. They figured she was my mom but when they looked for her to return me, she was gone."

Samantha sat there trying to absorb everything that just came out of Sarah's mouth knowing that story from a different point of view, but the same story all the same. "Do you know her name?"

"Who's name?" Sarah asked looking up at her tears in her familiar brown eyes.

"Your mom's?"

"Yeah, she lived in the Motel with her boyfriend for a little while before that, and they remembered her."

"What's her name?"

"Samantha Spade."


	5. Mother&Daughter Bonding

  
Well this is the long awaited update that I know Carol has been waiting for (;  
I hope everyone had a nice and safe Thanksgiving holiday!  
Review please (;

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"Ms. Reign?" Sarah asked her as she sat in the lounge of the motel otherwise known as the living room. The motel was covered in pink wallpaper with floral designs and there was a desk at the end of the pathway of the door where guests come to check in and get their rooms. These surroundings were all to familiar to Samantha and as she turned to meet the brown eyes that was her daughter's she couldn't help but reminisce about all the times she had spent on the same chair just enjoying the movement that the baby caused in her stomach. 

"How many times do I have to tell you, Sarah. It's Sam."

"Oh right, sorry," Sarah chuckled looking away in embarrassment. Sam smiled at her patting the space to her side always thankful to spend time with her estranged daughter. A daughter who didn't know that the blond woman that was sitting in front of her telling her stories about New York City and the world beyond the provincial city was the woman she had been searching for since the moment she had found out about her real identity. It took a lot out of Samantha not to just blurt out the fact to Sarah. She wasn't staying long and it would be better that her daughter didn't know, after all, Sarah may think she wants to meet her mother now, but things change when the ugly naked truth was in front of you. Samantha knew that better than anyone.

"It's alright, just, Ms. Reign is much to formal."

_And to strange_, she wanted to add but bit her tongue. _Keep your cover, Samantha_, she reminded herself.

"Sorry," Sarah smiled once again at her rolling her fingers together as a sign of nervousness. She wasn't this interactive with strangers – especially the ones that would come from the city and just stop over at their motel .

"Like I said, it's alright," Sam smiled back at her noting that Sarah got her smile as well. "So tell me, school started already, any boyfriends?"

Sarah giggled but shook her head. "Felix would kill the guy who even tries to get ten feet near me."

"Good, that's, I'll tell Felix that was a good decision to make. You're too young to have a boyfriend."

"How about you Mis—Samantha?"

"I, hum. I don't have one."

"How come?" Sarah pushed on not knowing her limit. She honestly wasn't use to strangers and when she was she was as curious as the cat who died. She wanted to know about life, _real_ life. The life in the city because she had swore to herself that she would go to the city and get the right resources to look for her mother.

"It just didn't work out," Samantha replied really not wanting to talk about Martin.

"He didn't love you?"

Samantha looked at her for a moment not wanting to answer her question but the look and the curiosity that was in her daughter's eye she couldn't help but be compelled to tell her absolutely everything in her life. She felt like she owned her that much. "Oh he did, in the beginning, he would have this look and this smile and this.. this just something special thing that would be saved for only me."

"He was your prince charming?" Sarah guessed. Seems like even at fourteen she was still into the whole Disney Princess _and they lived happily ever after_ thing – even if she knew that they were only fairy tales, like fantasies, they don't come true.

"I guess you could call him that."

"Okay, so what happened?"

"Well, I didn't love him enough."

"You didn't love him enough?"

"Well have you ever heard of the saying 'You don't know what you have until it's gone'?" Samantha asked Sarah seeing the bewildered look on her face. The young girl had seen nothing but love between her 'Momma' and Felix and Samantha was thankful for that. Her daughter wasn't damage and didn't have the issues she had growing up. Sarah didn't seem to have neither the 'daddy' or the 'mommy' complex issues for the couple who had raised her didn't show her anything to be worried about. Samantha could already tell that she had made the right decision for Sarah giving her up like that.

"I have. Why?"

"Now he doesn't love me anymore," Samantha answered her. Sarah looked at her begging her to continue knowing there was a 'but' in the story. "But I love him a lot."

"So you didn't know that you loved him until you guys broke up?" Sarah asked her understanding the whole thing.

"You could say that."

"Is that why you're here, because he doesn't love you anymore?"

Samantha nodded seeing Katerina – the owner of the motel – looking at the a the corner of her eyes. Time would only tell when that wise woman figured out who Samantha really was. Nothing much about her appearance has changed, not even the dark circles around her eyes. Everything even her unruly hair that she hadn't bothered to fix as there was nobody that she needed to impress.

"Yes and no."

"What's the other reason?" Sarah asked knowing that she was asking too many questions already. If Katerina was there she would surely tell Sarah to go do something else other than bother the kind woman who was there to relax, but without Katerina being there and the woman not asking her to leave or to stop her questions, she wouldn't stop. She was drawn to this Samantha Reign and she wanted to know why.

"Well, I..." Samantha said narrowing her eye at the little whole that was in the wall. The naked eye wouldn't see unless they knew where to look. Samantha had known where to look and she knew that Katerina was listening in on them from the other room. She just hoped that Katerina would cut it at whatever time she thought appropriate. She didn't want to share everything with her daughter, but she couldn't control her actions just like she couldn't control her heart. She longed to tell someone other than her journals everything and who better than her own flesh and blood?

"Is there another reason?" Sarah pushed.

"When I was sixteen, I got pregnant and gave birth," Samantha started not looking at Sarah. "I... I think she would be about fourteen now. Her birthday had just recently passed."

"Where is she?" Sarah asked looking around knowing that Samantha hadn't brought a girl her age around the trip otherwise she would've known. She was there when Samantha had come in late that one night as she persuaded Katerina to let her help around to clean the motel having nothing else to do. Katerina had banned her from watching television or reading magazines. Pure literature novels were the only things she could have for entertainment. That and a simple walk around the woods where her parents had left her hoping that one day they would return.

"She's... you know what... I..."

"Sarah come here and help me set the table,"Katerina said interrupting them not wanting to let Sarah know her true identity. She wasn't ready to let go of the girl she had raised to be a beautiful young lady, she obviously had gotten that from her mother. Katerina knew that as soon as Sarah finds out who Samantha is, she would want to be with her and leave with her to go to New York and she would never see Sarah again. True that she was just preparing for the time that Samantha would come back to claim her daughter but no matter she tried to get ready, when the time came she really wasn't. Fourteen years with the young girl wasn't enough.

"Just a moment mom, Samantha's telling me a story."

"Sarah, please? I need to talk to Ms. Sp-- Reign about something anyhow, you move along."

"Ugh, mom," Sarah whined as she stood up meeting her mother halfway to get into the dinning room as Katerina walked over to Samantha sitting at the spot that Sarah had recently occupied. Samantha didn't meet her eyes, she had noticed that. The young woman was probably ashamed of what she had done to her child, but coming back to see Sarah was an honorable thing to do. Coming back at all was something that took strength. She looked at Samantha once again before sighing hoping that she would get an honest answer out of her.

"So, tell me Samantha. What have you been doing for the past fourteen years?"

Samantha looked at the woman meeting her eye for the first time in that moment. Katerina could see nothing but pain in Samantha's eyes, and she knew that Sarah's distraction of setting the table wasn't enough to cover the story of fourteen years. Katerina knew that it was time that Sarah found out about her mother.

"Sarah, call your father and tell him that I asked him to set the table. When you're done come back into the living room, we need to talk."


	6. Revelations

A little something before the year ends.

I hope to have this done next year. Hopefully I'll have the time.

Happy holidays everyone!

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There was no case that was reported when Martin walked into the bullpen. He looked over at Samantha's desk – or what use to be her desk – hoping that he would see her purse there or her coat hanging by her chair. He saw no change. The computer screen was still blank and the desk was empty of all things that she would bring on a daily basis.

"Hey Martin," Danny greeted him. He didn't look any better, he too had the dark circles around his eyes and his eyes were bloodshot as well. Nobody was taking Samantha's disappearance lightly. Even Viv didn't seem to.

"Hey, any news?" Martin asked him as he sat on his desk turning his computer on and instantly going over Samantha's records hoping that there was a change. It's been idle since before she had disappeared. Her journals had indicated that it was because she was depressed.

"No," Danny replied shaking his head taking a deep breath. "Martin, did you ever consider..."

"Yes, but it's ridiculous, she wouldn't do it," Martin replied not needing to hear the rest of his sentence. It was absurd! Samantha wouldn't do that to herself, end her own life. She should know better.

"I know, but she wasn't thinking straight, Martin. She was hurt, and you and I both know that when you turned in the journal entry about her cutting herself that she's self destructive."

"I... I have faith in her, something just happened."

"How about her running away? It's been a week, Martin. We need consider these things as possibilities," Danny told him turning around in his chair to face Martin who had a lost look on his face. "The only reason we didn't in the beginning like any other case was because we knew her. But maybe we really don't? I mean, reading her journals for just ten minutes I've learned more about her than being her best friend – her brother – for about ten years!"

"You make sense Danny, but until I find her – even if it's just a lifeless body on the Hudson – I won't stop. I can't stop," Martin said turning his attention once again to the computer screen checking his emails. Memos from the bureau he deleted and other junk mails. After checking his 'new' mail, he turned and clicked onto the page of emails in the past. Email he had exchanged with Samantha on boring days of work since there were no messengers installed in the computers.

"I hope you have enough faith for all of us, Martin. I really do," Danny told him turning his attention down on his paperwork that he needed to get out of the way. Their paperwork pile had increased with one agent gone.

"You don't have to worry about that," Martin muttered more to himself.

He had faith for all of New York that he would find her.

Sarah looked from Katerina – her mother – to Samantha – her real mother. What they had sprung onto her was something she had never expected. Well, she knew that she was just adopted, but having her biological mother in the Inn looking for her – looking for some peace – was something she had never though would happen.

"Say something, dear," Katerina said waiting for her to say something. She had been mute ever since they had told her, that was about five minutes ago. Sarah once again looked at the woman who had raised her since she was a child to the woman who's womb she had grown in for nine months. In a perfect life, it should've been the same woman.

Katerina's eyes were of happiness.

Samantha's eyes were of hope.

Her eyes were blank.

"Something."

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Review(: 


	7. Another Entry

This is the product of elevn hours of blackout.

I hope you guys enjoy this!

Review please (:

(For those who are confused, the words in _italics_ are the one she's writting on her journal. I hope that helps!)

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_Dear Journal_

She started writing. It has been two weeks since she was last seen in New York and she knew that even if the higher powers were demanding her team to stop looking for her, that they were still. Why wouldn't they? She was like their family, though most of the times she didn't feel like it. They all had their lives outside the office, now as she turned to her side seeing her daughter curled up in her bed after a long exhausted day of just having fun and spending time with her, she knew she had that life out as well.

_Sarah's amazing. I don't know who she gets it from but she is. She's a great girl with a care free spirit. Not at all like me when I was her age. She loves her family, she's great in school and she just smilies at anything. She seems so innocent for a girl her age. I guess I have Katerina and Felix to thank for that, they really have done a good job in raising her. I know that it was the right choice. That I actually had made the right choice in leaving her to them to raise. I would've been a very bad mother. No doubt._

She ran her hands through Sarah's blond hair. She remembered what it was like – what she was like – when she was fourteen. She was a trouble maker having almost been kicked out of her school. She hated her family and avoided them at all cost – not that it was hard at all. Her family only consisted of her mother who was an workaholic just as much as her step father was an alcoholic. Her sister was always out with her friends or whomever she pleased. To make up for it, Samantha was always out of the city – out of '_Stupid Kenosha_' and into some other city making new friends and pretending to be someone she wasn't to get into parties and hook up with guys. She was the stereotypical _rebel_ as her mother called it. She just considered it being an individual.

_Sarah told me about her boyfriend. When she had first told me about it, the thought that she was too young came into mind. But seeing as though she was telling me instead of hiding it. Seeing as though Katerina and Felix were okay with it (I do trust their judgment a lot), I thought I should meet the boy who has my fourteen year old daughter 'in love'. Or as in love as they could be at that age. From what I saw in the pictures, he didn't look like one of those bad boys type. I think of that as a good thing, bad boys were just that. Bad. Boys._

_But I guess I won't know till I actually meet the kid. _

_His brown hair and blue eyes. _

_Just like **him**._

_Though, not all good boys turn out to be good too. They could still break a heart – worse than any 'bad boy' could. I should know, should I?_

Samantha sighed. Martin. He was different from everyone and anyone she has ever dated. Most men were only there to get a good screw from a hot FBI agent. Or even just a one night only, thing. They never were there to stay and talk, or cuddle even like Martin. They never offered her a shoulder to cry on. Not many – most of them didn't – offer anything but their bodies. So, she didn't offer anything back but hers. They didn't hurt her at all though, she knew when she was going into whatever 'relationship' it was that there weren't going to be any heart aches or late night whispers. There were just going to be sex, and a lot of it.

Though she knew that she should have known better to think that Martin was just like any other man she had been with. She couldn't change what she was use to. Couldn't change until she realized that he was gone and that she had changed unconsciously. She wanted him in the worst way possible.

_I keep asking myself if they're still looking for me. If they're as good of agents as they are of people, I thought that they would've found where I'm at right now. _

_I didn't try too hard to cover my tracks. An amateur would've done a better job. But, maybe they're too busy with other cases? Or they just don't care?_

'Stop making yourself think like that, Samantha,' she told herself looking down at the blank spots of the page then over to her pen.

_I want to call them. Danny, Viv, or even Jack. Tell them that I'm alright. Tell them that I'll be back in about two more weeks because I just needed a break. I know that it would've been wiser to just **ask** for time off rather than waste the people's money in their search for me. I just couldn't take it anymore. The fight or flight instinct came to me. And I couldn't chose to fight. _

_He told me that "It shouldn't have to be a fight."_

_So it shouldn't be one._

She picked up the phone that was on the side table dialing a New York number. After three rings though, she punked out and just placed the phone back down on the receiver.

_Nobody answered. At least I tired._

She sighed once again staring at the phone willing for it to ring. But the other part of her really didn't. Talking to them back in New York would mean something. She needed to figure out whatever fear it was that she had about those people back 'home' just like she figured out what it was that she was fearing in the place she was now. Though, in the back of he mind, she knew. One word, two syllables.

_Martin._


	8. New Lead

Another update for you guys!

Enjoy (:

Review please!

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Jack looked back down on the phone willing it to ring once again. He missed the first call that came since he was telling the team that they could all get their lunch breaks and that he would call if anything came up. He pressed the button so that he could see the 'missed calls' on this new phone that the bureau had installed for them. It was a 262 number, and that could only mean one thing. That this number – whoever the called – was calling from Kenosha, Wisconsin.

There was only one person that popped into Jack's mind when that city was mentioned. It was a big city in Wisconsin – the fourth largest. It was a place of beauty bordering one of the Great Lakes and being a 'suburb' of the big city of Chicago. If Jack was a regular man, he would see that place as a great place to grow up in, but Samantha would say otherwise.

He looked at the number writing it down before calling it hoping that someone would answer. It was just about noon there. He held his breath as he heard the three rings. After about the tenth ring, the line became busy and he vowed to tell the team as soon as they came back.

He tried again twice. Nobody picked up.

Someone there knew something about Samantha. He needed to know what it was. _They_ needed to know what it was. He looked out the window seeing his team come back in person by person. Martin was the first one sitting down on his desk with that look on his face. The look that he had been wearing since Samantha had disappeared from the face of New York City. Or at least to them. Jack shook his head.

"He's too attached," he muttered knowing that Martin wasn't the right person to give the information to. He'd probably get the first flight to Kenosha to search for Samantha.

Danny had come laughing on his phone and looking over at Martin patting his friend's shoulder. Danny knew what Martin was going through. He was like a brother to Samantha. Jack once again shook his head, he would react almost the same as he expected Martin would.

Vivian came on the phone as well a smile of her face directed at Martin wanting to cheer him up. Seems like everyone could see just how affected Martin is about this whole Samantha thing. Though they all knew Martin was seeing someone at the moment and was trying to make it work with her. Samantha was the one that held his heart, and it seemed that she took it with him wherever it may be that she had gone.

"Hey Viv," Jack called out walking into the bullpen. Vivian's head snapped up.

"Yes, Jack?"

"Could you come with me to talk for a minute?"

"Alright," she replied walking towards him bidding whoever was on the other line of her phone goodbye. She followed him inside his office shutting the door behind her. Whatever it was that they were going to talk about, she already had a feeling that it would be serious. If it wasn't he could've just said it to her out in the bullpen for the boys to hear as well.

She sat down looking at him intently trying to read him. Of course it was a bit hard. Jack Malone did _not_ fidget. He was a trained FBI agent for so many years already that his actions that other people could see were only the ones that he allowed them to see. She possessed that skill too, only them who had been in the business long enough do. She sighed again meeting his gaze. "What's up Jack?"

"A number with a Kenosha code called last night while we were away," Jack started with a steady voice void of all emotions.

She nodded urging him to continue. She was already reading his mind for the first thing that also popped up in her mind. She knew that Samantha lived in Kenosha when she was young.

"I tired calling it but nobody picked up. I think it might be a lead," Jack said pausing. "A lead to find Samantha."

Vivian looked over at him looking down at the paper where he took the information of where the phone line came from. A small motel owned by a family in Kenosha, Wisconsin. It's been there for about twenty years already by a Katerina and Felix Marson. Vivian looked at the other papers that Jack had printed out on the married couple. There were no records to be found that would go against them. They were just two people with a small local motel. Nothing else that was suspicious.

"You think we should go over there check it out?" she asked him. They all needed Samantha back. She was mainly the person who connected them all together. Of course they had their own connections but it seemed like these days – especially to Martin – she was the center of the connection.

"I do," Jack nodded looking out the window following Vivian's gaze. Martin was bus typing on his computer while Danny was not so subtly playing some computer game. "But I don't think we should tell them."

Vivian stared at him for a few seconds. "Why not?"

"I think they're too emotionally involved in this case," Jack said with a sigh.

"We're_all_ emotionally involved int his case, Jack. If you don't tell those two, Martin would still be walking day in and day out struggling to breathe and look for whatever lead in this dead end case we have while Danny sits back trying to comfort him _and_ his own self with the fears that she's gone for good," Vivian said shaking her head in disapproval standing up from the chair and walking towards the door. "You've got to tell them Jack. To ease their mind at least. If you don't, I will."

Jack held her gaze challenging her. They were in a match off seeing who was the first one who would back down from it all. Of course her gaze never flickered. She was a tough woman, and he knew that she could put him where he belonged with all that wiseness that she had in her.

"I'll tell them," he whispered walking over to the door where she was at and opening it for her.

"This is good, Jack," Vivian said patting his back as they walked into the bullpen calling the two over to the conference table both hoping that this lead wouldn't turn out to lead them to another dead end. If not for her sake, but for Martin's.


	9. Mishap

I get surprised with reviews and subscriptions for this fic.  
Thought I'd give you guys something for the end of the first month of 2008 (:  
Read and Review please (:

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Chapter 9 

Jack walked up the front porch of the expansive house. He took a good look around observing his surroundings. The house was right by the lake with a forest nearby. Kenosha was a large suburban city and this motel stood at it's border. It seemed as though as he stood there that she wasn't in a suburb of a city. There were no houses near this place. A perfect hiding spot for anyone.

"Jack, you coming in?" Danny asked him as he walked up the stairs his hands in his pocket. As much as he wanted to come to Kenosha with Jack, he just wanted to stay in New York. He knew that Martin was the one over in New York waiting by a phone – any phone – for news about Samantha while Vivian kept him together and distracted. But as much as Danny knew that Martin should be the one in Kenosha, he knew that if Sam was found in a state that left her needing medical attention, the person who did it would more than likely be dead as soon as Martin got his hands on the person. Not to say that he wouldn't do the same, he just had a better mentality about this case than Martin has. This case. It wasn't a case. Samantha, will never be just a case.

"Yeah, just having a look around," Jack admitted walking to the front desk that was right in front of the door. He rang the bell once, twice, three times, impatiently. No movement around the house could be detected.

"Is anybody here?" Jack called out walking to the left into the 'lobby'. Danny followed him. "You wanna take the rooms upstairs?"

"Sure, whatever," Danny said walking up the stairs weapon pulled out and ready. He tried not to picture Samantha's body lying on the floor cold and lifeless. All the things he's seen while being in law enforcement made it hard for him to do so. He's seen so many grotesque things in the line of duty and hoped that whatever that's coming up wouldn't be one of them.

He knocked down the door of one of the rooms. First one of the left.

Nothing.

The next two bedrooms, nothing also. The rooms were clean. Beds were neatly made. There was no sign of anything that happened in those rooms. Just a small family living in them from what he could see with the scattered toys around.

He paused hearing something. A sob? There was one more room to go. He knocked first waiting for someone to open the door in response. Nothing again. He heard soft shuffling and figured that he should just knock the door down.

Stepping back to get more force he kicked down the door like a boy playing kick ball. He looked around scanning whatever surface he could find. He heard another muffled sob walking into the attached bathroom that came with all of the rooms. The muffled sobs were coming closer and were a little more louder this time. He looked around seeing the bathroom curtain shut and pulled it open.

A young blond girl sat at the corner of the tub in fetal position shaking her head as her whole body also shook in fear. She looked up tired of waiting for something to happen, her brown eyes filled with fear.

"Don't," she started raising the black service gun up that she had gotten from her mother's drawer up.

"Don't come any closer," she threatened putting both hands on the gun her knees still up to her neck. "I'll... I'll shoot! I swear!"

Danny was frozen in his place. This girl looked a lot like Samantha. The brown eyes, the lips, the way that she was trying to be strong even if she was scared to the bone.

"I'm just gonna get my badge out of my pocket. I'm FBI," Danny declared slowly reaching for the pocket where he kept his badge in. He tossed it at the opposite side of the bathtub. The girl reached for the badge with one hand while the other kept the gun trained up at him.

"What," she started still not putting the gun down. "What do you want from me?"

"Could you please put the gun down? I'm not here to harm you," Danny said stepping towards her slowly. He was stopped by Jack busting in the room his gun trained at the young girl. Danny's gun was on the floor already.

"What happened?" Jack asked him looking at the girl. "How did she get your gun?"

"That isn't my gun," Danny said. "Just, let me handle this okay?"

Jack nodded looking at him trusting his word on it. He stepped outside of the bathroom leaving Danny looking at the girl.

"My name is Danny Taylor, and like I told you, I work at the FBI. What's your name?"

"I... Sarah," Sarah replied still shaking.

"Okay, Sarah. Could you please put the gun down? I just want to talk," Danny reasoned with her. She looked at him slowly putting the gun down though still in her reach. "That's it, slowly, I promise I'm not here to harm you."

After putting the gun down, Sarah looked up at him willing for him to talk. She was still shaking and tears were still falling down her eyes. She was no longer in fetal position though her legs were outstretched in the bathtub as she wrapped her arms around herself.

"You want to tell me what happened here?"

Just like a normal teen, she shrugged.

"I need something, Sarah. What happened that got you so scared?" Danny asked gently putting his arm on her shoulder. It was like each minute he seemed like he was looking at the young Samantha. Saving her from her past like she had done to him.

"You have to give me something, Sarah. Please?" Danny pleaded.

"They... I ... My mom."

"Your mom?" Danny asked. "What about your mom?"

"She was... They... He... shot her."

"Tell me, what's your mother's name?" Danny asked already his phone out and ready to make the call and inform the local authorities about this young girl and her mother.

Jack walked into the room a journal in one had and Samantha's wallet in the other. "Samantha's been here Danny."

"She was the one shot and taken. My mom," Sarah cried out returning to the position that Danny had found her in. She tried rocking herself in the small space that was allowed of her at the corner of the tub the events flashing back in front of her eyes.

"Stop," she muttered her eyes shut as tears leaked out one by one. "Please stop..."

"_What are you doing to her? Let her go!" Samantha screamed seeing the man who's face was no more than a shadow grab her daughter. Sarah screamed as the man forcefully grabbed her wrist._

"_Mom!" Sarah cried out as the man took her in his arms ready to take her outside and away from her. Samantha's FBI instincts kicked in as she tackled the man that was holding her daughter captive. _

"_Run! Sarah! Run!" Samantha screamed out as the man's grip loosened on Sarah. As soon as the faceless man had realized she was making the run for it, he took the gun that was tucked at his side pulling the trigger. Samantha rolled them over so that she was the one shot on her leg by the gun and it was nowhere near her daughter. _

_"Run! Sarah, Run!"_

_As fast as her feet could take her, Sarah ran away from the home and into the bushes that she knew would keep her hidden. It wasn't until she heard a car engine go off and the motor sounding farther and farther away that she had come out and back into the house. _

_

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	10. Hospitals

Dedicated to Carol.

Happy Birthday (:

Reviews, deeply appreciated.

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"When am I gonna be able to get out of here?" Sarah asked hem impatiently. She didn't like to wait, nor did she like hospitals. Danny looked down at her with a smirk.

"You're just like your mother, you know that right?" Danny answered her with a smile. "She hated it when she had to stay in the hospital for about an hour. God only knows how she lived through the four weeks that she was in one after the shooting."

"She was shot?" Sarah asked surprised. That was news to her.

"Yeah, about a year ago, Sa—your mom was held hostage in a bookstore. The shot was accidental," Danny explained to her looking for her doctor. He wanted her out of there as much as she did. Sarah was to go to New York and be under Vivian or Martin's supervision. They didn't trust anyone else with her at the moment knowing that if anything at all happened to her, Sam would kill them. 

"Oh, I think I saw that on the news," Sarah replied nodding her head. "So, I'm going to New York? Who am I going to stay with? Her husband?"

Danny looked at her. "Something like that."

"What do you mean?" Sarah asked. "Isn't she married with kids or something? She's too pretty not to be."

"Yeah but your mom is more of a workaholic, but you do get to meet your _was_ future daddy," Danny commented looking at his watch knowing that Jack was going to come back soon from the crime scene to escort Sarah to the airport to New York. 

"What do you mean by that?" Sarah asked scratching her arm over the band aid that was put there. She somehow had gotten cut between Samantha's abduction and them finding her in the tub. Not that she noticed or anything, she was far too busy with worrying about her mother to do so.

"I mean, that when you get there, the guy who's picking you up from your flight is gonna be extra nice and all suck up to you," Danny explained. "He loved your mother before all this thing, though I know he's the reason that she needed a break and come all the way over here. They broke up a few weeks ago."

"She broke it off with him?" Sarah asked loving that she was learning more and more about her mother than ever. Her life was interesting as it seemed at the moment, like it was taken straight out of a soap and gone to life.

"No, he did," Danny replied looking up at the man who entered the door with his scrubs and lab coat on. "Can she go, doc?"

"Yeah she can," the doctor replied. "I'm sorry about the wait, it's pretty hectic here. Do you guys have any questions at all?" 

"No, where are the release forms? She's trying to catch a flight to New York."

"Just go to the front desk and sign her out. I'm sure they'll be more than helpful," the doctor instructed looking at his watch. "I have to run. Have a safe trip."

"So, do you wanna get out of here?" Danny asked Sarah who jumped off the bed and dashed out of the door in no time. Danny smirked and shook his head. "I'll take that as a yes."

"Hurry up, Danny!" Sarah yelled going down the hallway as fast as she could walking not wanting to attract attention or disturb the healing patients. 

"Hello, Sarah. Ready to go?" Jack asked her as he bumped into her at the front desk. "Where's Danny?"

"Right here," Danny replied huffing trying to catch his breath. "Were you on the track team or something? You were only walking!"

"And you call yourself an FBI Agent, shame!" Sarah joked nudging him. "Do I go to New York now?" 

"Yeah," Jack said handing her a suitcase with her belongings. "Danny, can I speak to you for a moment?"

"Sure," Danny said motioning for Sarah to stay where she is and in their sight just in case.

"You did good at distracting her," Jack commented nodding over at Sarah.

"Thanks, what did you find at the crime scene?" Danny inquired.

"Martin called. I wanted a background check on the owners of the motel," Jack replied. "It seems that the place use to be a foster home before the couple had gone bankrupt. One of the kids that they looked over was Gregory Brooks. The future Mr. Spade."

"Sarah's dad?" 

"Yeah, the couple isn't anywhere to be found. I asked the Milwaukee unit to look up into it and try to find them alive. Chances are, they're in this thing too."

"But why now? They've always had Sarah since she was born, why did they just act on it now?" Danny asked Jack. 

"That's the question here, Danny. That's what we're working on solving. As soon as Sarah gets to New York, I've already ordered Vivian to sit down and talk with her try to get out whatever that she can from her."

"Alright, no pressure on her and what she knows then huh?" Danny commented looking over at Sarah checking to see that she hadn't gone anywhere like he knew Samantha would probably do. The mother and daughter were so much alike in personality and looks that she might as well be Samantha from the past.

"As soon as I drop her off, meet me at Samantha's mother's house," Jack ordered. "For now you can take a break."

"I want to go drop Sarah off with you," Danny requested. "I think it'd be much better for her if we were both watching her. We still don't know what's going on."

"You're right," Jack nodded as they walked back to where Sarah was sitting impatiently zipping her bag open and closed. 

"I get to go to New York now right?" Sarah asked them anxiously.

"Yes, you do," Jack answered her nodding his head and motioned her to stand up taking the suitcase off her hands.

Samantha slowly opened her eyes trying to make the adjust to the darkness all around her. She couldn't see or hear anything around her. She did know that her legs and arms were all tied up preventing her from escaping her captor. 

"Sarah," she whispered in the darkness. Her whispers just bounced off the wall. 

"Sarah, if you're in here, please wake up," she whispered again. Once again, no reply. 

She breathed a sigh of relief. At least they didn't take her daughter – or as far as she knew they hadn't done so. 

She suddenly heard footsteps coming her way and a small light enter the room along with a shadow. 

"Hello Samantha, fancy seeing you here."

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Review (:


	11. Expolsion

For Carol, again. I promised her this would be update when she wakes up. I stuck to my promise.  
I hope you guys enjoy this update. It has a twist in it (:  
Vacation has done really good for my muse wouldn't you think? ;P  
Reviews, greatly appreciated.

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Martin stood inside the airport pacing. He was already inside the waiting area to board passengers but that wasn't nearly enough. He was right outside the gate where Sarah would come out straight tout of the plane. He didn't want to take chances. This was Samantha's daughter and her life could be in danger. The people she had been living with were just ticking bombs. They were just waiting for Samantha to come back. He couldn't shake the entry out of his head. He was assigned to read her private journals for whatever reason that things may come up there. New leads or whatever.

_He didn't mean it. I know he didn't. He loves me and he loves her. He's just drunk. He didn't mean it when he said he was leaving the both of us like he didn't mean what he did to me. _

_Why would he do it if he didn't mean it?_

_Is it me? What did I do?_

The entry went on and on and on about how it was her fault that he did _it_. Martin didn't even want to know what _it_ was. It was something that shook Samantha and probably something that helped change her to the closed off woman she turned out to be. He wanted to just go back in time and punch this guy to death. Samantha was a beautiful woman before he damaged her soul. Yes, she must've been hurt baldy with her father leaving and all the rest of that but she had given the man her heart. That was more than she had ever given anybody (well except maybe himself, not that he knew she did.)

A blond not more than the age of fifteen approached him with a purple suitcase at hand. Jack had told Martin that it was something to help him identify Sarah. He didn't need the suitcase. The hair and the eyes had brought her out along with her chewing on her bottom lip as she looked around.

"Hey Sarah," Martin said with a smile catching up to her from the gate. "Agent Martin Fitzgerald. I'll be your body guard, bouncer and whatever else there is needed be while you're in New York."

Sarah looked up at him curiously. Well at least her mother had good taste. He seemed nice and he at least tired to make jokes with her. As first impressions go, he was a nice man. How did he end up breaking her mother's heart though?

"Thanks," she smiled weakly at him. He took the suitcase out of her hands and took it for himself. She didn't mind or argue with him about it. She was tired and she just wanted her mother back. It's true that she had only known her for a coupe of days, but they share a special bond and it was something that she would never have with any other human being but that one.

"I know you don't hear this a lot, but you look just like your mom," Martin noted as they got inside the car. "She has photos of herself when she was about your age. If you want I could show them to you."

"It's fine, Momma had some pictures of her with my father when they were together," Sarah replied shrugging it off. "I just didn't recognize her, she's prettier in real life that she is in the pictures."

"Your mother is beautiful," Martin commented stopping at the bureau. "I'm not suppose to be telling you this, but when you get upstairs, Viv's gonna have to ask you a few questions okay. I want you to answer them as truthfully as you can and as detailed as possible."

"I have to?" Sarah asked pouting a little. She had always dreamed of going to New York. Not like this though. She had always wanted to surprise her mother by showing up at her door and making her see what she had given up in her life. She had wanted to go out and see the Statue of Liberty, go to Ellis Island and hear stories. Walk on the Brooklyn Bridge and watch Wicked on Broadway. Not like this. Never like this.

"You want to find Sa – your mom right?" Martin asked her as they stepped into the lobby and he showed the receptionist his badge. He signed Sarah in on the guest list as it was protocol and escorted her up the elevator and into the floor of the Missing Person's Unit.

"Why did you break up with my mom?" Sarah asked him as they rode up the elevator trying to drown the elevator music out. "Danny told me about you two. She did too a little. I just... wanted to know."

"Your dad... he broke her, Sarah," Martin explained to her. It didn't matter if Samantha didn't want her daughter to know what she had been through. The truth will always find a way to come out. This was the truth and it was coming out. If it helped with the investigation and urged Sarah to tell whatever it was that has been happening in the past years of her life. Then it was a good thing. Samantha getting mad at him would be a small price to pay if and when they find her.

"What do you mean?" Sarah asked him curiously. Her dad had visited her at Katerina's a few times a year. At least she got to see her father. Every time he would see her, he would be nice and caring and sweet. Almost like the man in front of her at the moment. He would bring her gifts from wherever it was that he traveled from and before he would leave they would take a trip to Chicago and just be tourists there. She always had a great time.

"He hurt her – badly. She's a broken woman, Sarah. This thing, whatever it is that had just happened to her. It's gonna break her even more. She already has a bad record in trusting people she doesn't need this to add onto that list," Martin explained to her.

"Don't blame my dad! He didn't do anything wrong! He tried to stop her! She said no, she left me! She was the one who left US broken! She left me! She left my dad! For what?! For you?!" Sarah shouted in the elevator pushing the emergency stop button. "I'm glad she's miserable here! I hate her! She never wanted me! I don't know why she showed up there in the first place!"

"Calm down, Sarah," Martin said calmly pushing the emergency stop button back into it's place making the elevator move that one more floor up. Sarah needed to calm down. She was in no shape or form to be screaming since she had just gone from the hospital. Besides that, they needed her. She was the one witness that could crack the case.

"No! Why should I fucking calm down?! How would _you_ feel if your mom abandoned you as a baby?!" Sarah asked him. The doors of the elevator opened and several agents that could hear Sarah's screaming in the elevator had already gathered around the doors wanting to know what was going on. They were agents, they were nosy by nature.

"Sarah, let's go," Martin said as kindly as he could. This girl was Samantha's daughter alright. She had her stubbornness and her will.

"I won't! I want to go back to Kenosha! I want to be with Katerina and Max! I want to be with the real people who love me!" Sarah cried out. By this time all of the agents on that floor was watching the scene of a crazy hormonal teenager crack screaming at everything and everyone around her. It wasn't until she started hyperventilating that she started to calm down running into the nearest office that she could get to sinking down on the couch there.

The office just happened to be Jack's office.

After Martin and Vivian cleared the scene out, they came inside the office to check on Sarah who was sitting there stoic. She looked almost statue like with her hands placed on her lap and her gaze straight forward. She was looking at Samantha's desk.

"Hey honey, are you alright?" Vivian asked gently hoping not to push her buttons any further. Martin didn't even dare step into the office since he was the one who triggered her anger. Maybe it was an effect that he had on Spades or something.

"I'm fine," Sarah replied with nothing more than a whisper into the air. She couldn't believe that she had almost given away what she and her father had built up and planned for years.

"Do you need anything? Water? Juice? Crackers?" Vivian offered sitting down next to the girl rubbing comfortable patterns at her back. "Anything at all?"

"I'm fine," Sarah replied once again. _My mother isn't though_, she thought in her head. She could just picture what was happening back home in Kenosha. She could just picture her mother pleading for her life. Wanting to be loved like Sarah.

_It's what she deserves_, she thought in her head. That mantra was repeated over and over again as the sun set and Martin on the phone telling Jack what information Sarah had shouted at him in the elevator.

There was something about this girl he couldn't put his finger on. He just hoped that his finger would land on the right spot and that they would find her soon. Before it's too late.

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	12. Arising Suspicion

This is my gift to you guys because I was just elected Class President (:  
I hope you guys enjoy this one.  
Reviews, greatly appreciated

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Sarah felt like she was being stared at. They were all trying to read her and what she was all about. It seemed that they were on to her. But it was probably her neurotic nature that her father had once told her she had gotten from her mother. It was like everything she got from her mother's half, she hated. She hated the freckles, the blond hair, the eyes the crooked smile. She hated her stubborn nature and her neurosis and not being able to trust people. Well, the last one she was a little thankful of, otherwise she'd be another child out there that was a victim of their emotions.

"Are you sure you're not hungry?" the African American woman asked her offering her a smile. Her name was currently lost in Sarah's head as she pictured what this woman was like when she was raged. When she would find out that the girl that she was being such an angel to was an accomplice to the whole kidnapping.

"Nope, thank you though," Sarah replied giving her a tight smile turning her attention away. She could feel the blue eyes of the man that turned her mother away boring holes in her. She applauded the man silently for breaking her mother and breaking her enough to make her come back to the one place that she had vowed never to.

"Hey, you feel like taking a walk with me?" Martin offered her in a calm soothing voice though his insides were boiling at all the scenarios that were in his head. All of them involving this innocent looking teen age girl and Samantha being tortured endlessly. He didn't like it at all, but he needed to do all that he could to save her.

"Uhm, not really," Sarah answer politely another tight smile crossing her features. It seemed like she never smiled anymore. All her mother's fault. She didn't have to leave her alone with Katerina and Max!

"Just to get some... polluted air in your lungs," Martin joked with her. "You haven't been here to inhale the stale dirty air."

"No thanks, I'd really prefer to stay here," Sarah answered getting annoyed of this man. How did her mother stand him with her tempers that they both had gotten famous for? No wonder they had problems.

"If you want I could take you around, Brooklyn Bridge, Central Park, Madison Square, Ground Zero, Empire State, Ellis Island," Martin offered running out of tourist sites. He knew how to push her buttons like he did with Samantha. It was another skill he had acquired that was seeming to come in real handy.

In favor of not risking another outburst and making them even more suspicious of her. She plastered on a fake smile jumping out of her seat. "You win, let's go."

Martin smiled at her knowing that smile. Samantha had used it to the suspects and those guys from Violent Crimes that use to ask her out as a game. He knew that smile perfectly. "Alright, good. Wait here a sec, I'll just tell Viv that we're going and to call us when they find out some more information."

"Whatever," Sarah breathed out gathering her things and putting her jacket on watching Martin knock on the glass doors that she had expected would be her office.

_Vivian! Right, that was her name._

"Hey you got a sec?" Martin asked her looking around. It was a little odd to have Vivian in Jack's office but it would've been how things were if Jack really did transfer and go with his family.

"Yeah, what's up?" Vivian asked him with a smile looking up from the case papers that she was going over. Gregory Brooks have been involved in a million other things and this would just be the straw that would break the camel's back. He's been in and out of jail since before Samantha had met him.

She was right, she really did like her relationships nice and complicated.

"I'm taking Sarah out, tour her around the city," Martin answered her stiff with his hands in his pockets. "I have this nagging suspicion and I think she could help me either climate it or work my way with it."

"Alright," Vivian said looking up at him curious. "You think she's involved in it too?"

"I think it's much more than that," Martin answered nodding his head. "I think she was the head of it. I have a voice recorder and I'll turn it on the whole time just in case."

"Okay, get her here by midnight," Vivian said dismissing him. Martin nodded his head and started heading for the door.

"Actually," Vivian said stopping him in his tracks. "I want you to take her home, Samantha's house preferably. She's probably feel guilty for doing that to her mother when she's suffocated by her all the time."

"Okay, thanks boss," Martin said with a smile putting his hands back in his pocket walking to where Sarah was sitting talking quietly on her phone. He wouldn't be a good FBI agent if he didn't notice her lips moving. She was definitely not talking to herself. No daughter of Samantha Spade would.

"I gotta go," Sarah whispered into the other line tucking her small phone down her jacket sleeve just as she would if she stole from stores. It was a way for Martin not to know that she had a cellphone and made contact with her father.

"You have all your things?" Martin asked her.

"Why do I need them, aren't we coming back here?" Sarah asked him confused hoping that she hadn't been found out.

_Don't be irrational. If they knew you were in it, they would be a little less nicer to you!_ She berated herself giving him a smile.

"We're going to mines. Viv figured that you'd be tired by the time we head back and a proper bed would do you some good. So that's all of your things right?" Martin asked motioning to the suitcase beside her. Sarah nodded following him to the elevators.

Martin smiled at her as she got inside pressing the record button on the recorder.

Let the confession begin.

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	13. Good Person

Sorry about this update if it seems a little off. It's just a little bridge.

RRSherlock -- I know, right? Me (us) teens. I'm still surprised at the things my peers do to others... I guess that's why they're taking more funds out of schools and more on jails in California right ? :P  
Carol -- You know all my updates are dedicated to you(: Something to lift your spirits coming back to work and all.  
KingsFan -- Is your name from a sports team? Or am I really off?

Reviews please (:

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"So how do you like New York so far?" Martin asked her as they rode down the elevator. Sarah looked at him confused.

"The only places that I've been in the airport, the car and here," Sarah informed him. "So I don't like it much so far."

"We'll change that soon," Martin commented looking out the window knowing that the closest tourist area would be Central Park. It was also perfect since they would get to talk while they walk around seeing the sites.

"Great," Sarah muttered under her breath looking at the glowing clock remembering her recent conversation with her father.

_"Hey dad," Sarah whispered into the line looking around if the coast was clear for her to talk to her father. She didn't want them to know a thing about her being involved in it. She's watched enough crime scene shows to know that being an accomplice to a crime would give you just about the charge that the suspect has. You helped, you were part of it._

_"Hey baby, what's going on?" her father's deep caring voice echoed through the other line along with a distant scream of a woman._

_"Nothing really, I'm sitting at the FBI office, bored to death," Sarah commented watching as another agent looked down at her smiling while escorting someone to an interrogation room._

_"Oh, that's right. The Fibbies took you to New York," her father confirmed yelling something along the lines of 'shut up' and 'I'll slash you' in the background to what she could only suspect was her struggling mother._

_"Yeah, they haven't asked me anything so far. They're too busy with something else, I don't know," Sarah informed him._

_"You think they suspect anything?" he asked her in a whisper._

_"Not a thing," Sarah said with a small smile. "They're so stupid and trusting. Just like that bitch with you."_

_"What bi--Oh Samantha? She's more than a bitch honey."_

_"Oh, by the way, I had a little slip."_

_"What do you mean by 'little slip'?" He asked her his tone rising. A little slip could mean something big. The agents don't miss a thing from what he knew -- well at least if they were smart enough. He's done research on the Missing Person's New York City Unit. They could find a needle in a hay stack, three to one._

_"They were talking about you, Dad. I couldn't take it," Sarah confessed. "I don't like how they talked about you so I kinda... slipped."_

_"And by slip, you mean what exactly?"_

_"I just started yelling, a little," Sarah said ready to flip the phone closed seeing Martin approach her. He came back inside the office though._

_"Alright, well I don't think they'll suspect anything. I mean, they know you're undress a stressful situation getting your mother taken right in front of your eyes."_

_"Yeah, I guess," Sarah nodded off looking to the direction of the office seeing Martin approach her for real this time. "Listen, I'll call you back when I can. I gotta go."_

"Alright, so Central Park first? Are you okay with that?" Martin asked her parking on the side hoping that she had no objections with it.

"That's great," Sarah said putting on a fake smile.

I'd rather be back at Kenosha seeing how it's all going, but that's not an option is it? She said to herself. She walked out the car looking around her surroundings. At least the air was cleaner there. Definitely better than the musty smell in the Federal Building.

"Alright so, I know you need a tour guide, so let's just walk around, I'm sure I don't need to explain the artificial bodies of water to a person with your intellect," Martin said with a smile making sure that the recorder was on.

They walked in silence for a few beats before they reached the bridge. Martin sighed longingly. Not just for acting either.

"That was where me and Sam would go all the time. Eat lunch or whatever. It's our spot," Martin pointed at the bridge with a sad look in his eyes. Sarah noticed it and felt a tug on her heart. As much as she hated her mother, she couldn't stand people being sad around her.

"You miss my mom?" Sarah looked up at him meeting his eyes.

"Of course I do, she's an amazing woman. I can't imagine who would want to hurt her," Martin replied.

"What do you mean?" Sarah asked him. "I thought you broke up with her because you thought she was the biggest bitch on Earth?" Sarah asked him knowing about what she heard around the office in the few hours that she was there. It seemed that her mother was one of the 'popular kids'. Something she could only wish she was.

"I never thought that your mother was the biggest bitch on Earth," Martin cleared it up. "Ever."

"Then what's all that I heard around the office today?" Sarah asked him. "She treated you like you were her bitch. Hid you from all of the office because she was ashamed of you."

"That's not true," Martin whispered trying to prove not only to Sarah but to himself that it wasn't. The fact that the recorder was still on and picking up their conversation made it hard for them to talk. Made it hard for him to be honest about everything.

"Then what do you really think about Samantha?" Sarah asked him curious looking at the peaceful scenario that was around Central Park.

"Your mother, she can be... hard, at times. But really, she's an angel. She saves people. She finds them and makes sure they're home safe and sound. She makes sure that the world -- at least New York City -- would be that much safer for the people in it, good or bad," Martin told her sitting down at one of the benches overlooking the pond and the Angel Statue.

"She does?" Sarah asked him surprised.

"She's not just working this job because she needs the money," Martin informed her. "She could be so many other things in the world. She chooses to be someone who finds people who are lost and bring them back to familiarity -- to their families."

"I..." Sarah said speechless. "She was really all of that?"

"And more," Martin admitted. "Her beauty and determination and character. It's just the least of things that makes me fall in love with her. She's a great woman, I can't imagine just what type of person would want to take her and do God only knows what with her."

"I..." Sarah said once again the guilt consuming her. She was only a kid! She couldn't take it anymore. Seeing her mother from a different person's point of view was something so... refreshing. She grew up knowing her mother was the devil incarnated. Nothing more. Nothing less. Her mother left her and her father to pursue her dreams. She was a selfish bitch. She was THE most selfish bitch. At least until that moment.

_I can't imagine just what type of person..._ Martin's words repeated over in her mind.

_I'm that person. It's me!_ Her mind screamed. Suddenly, without warning, tears started to fall down her eyes. A sob came out though she tried to keep it in. It was so hard though! To live with something so... She wanted to believe she was a good person. When at that moment. In reality she knew she was what she had always hated.

"Is there something you want to tell me?" Martin asked her softly seeing tears flow down her hazel eyes.

Sarah shook uncontrollably clutching onto Martin's shirt crying on him. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

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Reviews please (:


	14. Found Her

Okay, don't be surprised if I update a little more than I do usually. This is my current distraction from studying for the STAR :P  
And I know that you guys are anxious to see Sarah's confession but I promise you guys will get it. I'm planning on ending this story in five more chapters. Hopefully.  
Thank you guys for the reviews. I hope you guys stick with me for the last couple of chapters of this story.  
Dedicated to Carol, as usual (:  
Reviews, greatly appreciated.

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Chapter 14

"Ready?" Jack talked through the mic on his sleeve looking at his distant right seeing Danny there nodding his head the response coming through his ear piece late. They were at a – typical – abandoned warehouse that Sarah had confessed they had planned to stash Samantha at when they get her. That had always been the plan and Sarah had assured them that her father didn't change the plans. After everything she had done to them, she begged them to believe her. The reason? Guilt was eating her up. Besides, suspect or not as FBI agents they knew when to read people, she seemed pretty damn honest during her confessions with Martin.

The SWAT team crept in quietly gear on as they had gone to the scene with Jack, Danny and the other Missing Persons team that was working the case with them.

"Ready?" The captain of the SWAT team asked his team members in a whisper as he looked left and right before kicking the door open letting sunlight get in the darkened – almost pitch black room. The sun had already set hours ago and they couldn't be able to see a thing without the help of the lights that they had brought.

Attached to the SWAT team's guns were lights where they used to search every corner of the space. They found nothing – not that they really had expected to. Seeing a door and hearing muffled sounds coming from it, they crept there slowly dimming the light attached to their guns to help them see what was going on. It was a staircase that led them lower at the basement of the building just as Sarah had described to Martin in her confession.

Jack and Danny moved in following the SWAT team their guns also raised up high ready to fire at anything and anyone. Adrenaline started pumping through their veins as they heard the dog like whimpers get closer and closer to them.

Everyone looked sharply wherever the light would shine scouring every inch of the surface below them as they saw nothing.

"Under the stairs," Danny whispered to Jack who found himself beside the other man. Jack motioned the captain of the SWAT team to continue his search downwards shinning the light below the staircase that the rest of them were standing on.

"She's alive!" they heard a bellow from below. Danny sighed relief masking his whole body.

"The suspect is MIA," another voice rang out to them as they ran down the stairs to see Samantha themselves. Just to satisfy their personal need. It seemed like they haven't seen her in forever.

Some people moved up the stairs to continue searching for Sarah's father and foster parents while Danny and Jack looked behind the staircase seeing Samantha handcuffed to the pole traces of blood on her once blond hair. Her head was bent down in defeat. In all honesty it didn't even look like she was living and breathing anymore. It just looked like she was left there to die by her captors.

"She has a pulse, we should take her out of here," Jack said moving back from Samantha's body using the walkie talkie that was attached to his side to call out somebody above to call for an ambulance if they hadn't already.

"You think she'll be okay?" Danny asked Jack looking down at his best friend – his _sister_. She had to be okay.

"It's Samantha."

That was the only answer that Jack had before he let the other people do their job to get her off that pole breaking the cuffs with a lock breaker and carrying her up the stairs for her lungs to get better than air from a basement that had no ventilation system.

"Yeah," Danny sighed looking up at the light as Samantha was carried out the door that lead them out of the basement. As Danny ascended the stairs in a hurry wanting to be able to ride with Samantha to the hospital. There were two gun shots that rang through the silent night.

One from SWAT.

The other from a man in the shadows.

_It's Samantha_

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	15. Wake Up

So really, this whole thing is finally almost over.  
Told you guys I'd be updating! Twice this week must be a record for me ;P  
Thank you guys for the reviews(:

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Chapter 15

Danny sat next to Samantha's bed giving it a squeeze hoping to get her to wake up that way. It's been two months since that day that they found her banged up in the basement. Her body has healed itself. The bruises that covered her from head to toe the first couple of days had long since faded. The dark circles under her eyes that had formed since Martin has broken up with her were also gone. The only thing that hasn't really faded completely were the scars that was on her arm. They were lighter now, the cuts weren't that deep. But they were still visible if you looked hard enough.

It just showed how much she had been through in the past months.

"I know you'll get through this," Danny whispered in the air looking up at the clock at the same time too. It was almost the end of his lunch time and he knew that with one agent down Jack would be pissed if he didn't come in on time. Today was also the trial of Katerina and Max – the people who kept Samantha's daughter in like she was theirs. A little too much at that. "You're so strong."

Danny looked at her hearing the dull beeping of the machines around Samantha that kept reminding him that she was alive. "You've been through so much more."

"_Shit!" Danny shouted running up the stairs as fast as he could. He saw the agent that was carrying Samantha up the stairs down almost falling back into the staircase. There was also the man who he knew as Samantha's ex laying on the floor blood all around him. Good he deserved it._

"_Is she okay?" Jack asked running up the stairs as well falling a little behind as he was older. "What happened?"_

"_The suspect came out of nowhere, sir," a younger agent explained motioning to the corpse of what use to be Gregory Brooks. "He aimed at Agent Franchescki, luckily he has a bad shot and we got him."_

"_Good, good," Jack said with a nod walking over to the corpse and looking down at it with disgust on his face. The man got what he deserved._

"I keep telling Martin to come and visit you," Danny whispered once again knowing that it would be a few more minutes that he would need to leave. Time was precious. "But he's just... I'm sorry he's too busy with... other things."

"Yeah I know I don't have to sugar coat it," Danny said shaking his head. "I just... I just want you to wake up. Like now, while I'm here because otherwise you'll wake up to nobody here but the machines feeling lonely. I don't want that for you Sam. So wake up, please."

His phone rang seeing "Martin" across the screen.

"Taylor," Danny answered flipping his phone open annoyed at Martin.

"Hey Man, we need you at the trial," Martin replied ignoring the icy tone of his voice.

"I'll get there soon," Danny said looking down at Samantha then at the machines hoping that some how she'll wake up in the few moments. "Just... spending time with an old friend."

"Yeah," Martin sighed. "Is she... improving?"

"You'd know if you come here once in a while," Danny retorted hanging up the phone. The reality of the situation was, there has been no change since she was brought to New York a month ago.

Before leaving the room, Danny looked back at Samantha's angelic form.

"I'll see you later, Sammy," he whispered into the air. "Don't wake up without me."

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Reviews, greatly appreciated (:


	16. Visit

Mhm. ANOTHER ONE?!  
Seriously. We're getting closer and closer to the end.  
Reviews, please.

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Chapter 16

Samantha sat up in her bed lonely once again just staring at the dark colored walls of her bedroom. It's been a while since she was released from the hospital, but Jack had insisted that she would take a few more weeks off as Van Doren had advised him to give to her. She needed much recovery time. Just because she wasn't shot, but she was beat to death.

She nervously played with the gold chain that hung down from her neck finding out that her journals were scattered across the office floor and some of them gone. She knew that the team had to go over them, but Danny hadn't said anything about them finding it. She could only think of one person that could've found them and read them. Martin.

"Mom?" Sarah whispered knocking at her bedroom door. Samantha looked at the door unresponsive.

She had forgiven her daughter for whatever it was that she did. Samantha, out of everyone, could understand the need for revenge. Of course it took a while, Sarah had to gain Samantha's trust one again. But at the end of the day, Sarah was her daughter and she had no where else to go but to jail or Samantha's home.

No matter what Sarah did, Samantha would never put her into something so.. harsh as putting her in jail. She didn't belong there.

"Mom?" Sarah asked louder this time. After a few beats, there was silence around the house. "Mr. Fitzgerald's here to see you."

Samantha looked out gazing at the mirror confused.

_Martin?_ She asked herself. She hadn't talked to Martin since they had broken up.

Samantha sat up coming closer to the door hearing her daughter's voice and Martin's in the other room.

"She doesn't want company right now," Sarah apologized to Martin still somewhat shameful of what she did only meeting his gaze occasionally or not at all.

"Oh, can I ask her myself? I mean, I didn't hear her reply or --"

Samantha came out of her bedroom after checking if tear marks had made their way miraculously down her face.

"She's right, Martin," Samantha said as she walked out seeing Sarah's mouth open to reply. "I don't want company right now. Much less yours."

"Sam," Martin breathed out knowing that he had a lot to make up for.

Sarah left to go to her room which was previously the office leaving Martin and Samantha alone.

"What Martin?" Samantha asked her voice two tones louder than usual. Already she was getting mad at Martin. All her frustrations with him seeping out of her.

"Can we please talk?" Martin asked her in an almost pleading way.

"What's there to talk about?" Samantha said. "Why now?"

"I..."

"I had so much things to say to you, Martin. But I don't anymore, you're not worth it," Samantha said walking to the door holding it open for him to go through hoping that he would get the signal that she was giving him. "Please just leave."

Martin looked at her his eyes crunched from both thinking and trying to determine what was going through her mind at that moment. Obviously it went something along the lines of 'Hate' and 'Martin', but the rest he wasn't too sure about.

As he finally came face to face with her towards her door, he leaned over unexpectedly and kissed her. Softly at first testing the waters unexpectedly before pulling her body close to his as she left go of the door and secured her arms around his neck.

When Martin realized just what he has done, he pushed her away bolting out of the door and through the hallway to the emergency stairs that nobody uses. When the door leading to the staircase of the fifth floor closed shut. Martin sat down on the top step thinking about what he had just done.

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Reviews, greatly appreciated (:


	17. ReInstated

Alright, so here's chapter 17. There's about three more left.  
I'm working on the eighteenth chapter more likely will be posted next week (:  
Reviews, please (:  
And Carol, you'll find out the answer soon(:

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Chapter 17

Days after Martin had dropped by Samantha's apartment, Samantha found herself standing outside the Federal Building of New York City breathing in deep. It certainly felt like she hadn't been there in a while. Which was just about right considering she had about three months of a break overall.

"Good Morning, Agent Spade," the receptionist greeted her as she walked inside the doors flashing her badge and ID at the receptionist who looked pretty new before continuing to the elevators pressing the correct button.

That was until someone shouted,"Hold the elevator!"

Samantha pressed the _Doors Open _button waiting for whoever it was that told her to hold the elevator open to get inside. To her luck, it was the one person she was opting to avoid for the day. Martin.

"Hey, thanks," he greeted not looking up busily typing away on his Blackberry. She was thankful that he didn't notice it was her and wished that he wouldn't until they actually got out of the elevator.

Martin reached over to press the correct floor on the elevator seeing the round button already lit up for the floor where the Missing Person Unit were based. He turned around ready to make small talk with whoever agent was on his floor when he was greeted by Samantha Spade clad in her suit ready for her first day on desk duty.

_Fuck _was the first word that popped in his head. But he quickly shook that thought away putting on a weak smile.

"Hey Sam."

Samantha smiled back at him nodding her head as he acknowledged her presence.

"Hey Martin."

Then it was silence again per the elevator music. Just a few breaths later, Martin got annoyed of listening to the dull music and started to talk to Samantha.

"I didn't know that you were coming in today," he started. "You got cleared by Lisa?"

"Yep," Samantha said with a smile. "I'm pretty much back as normal except for having a noisy teenage girl living in my apartment with me."

"Ah, Sarah, right," Martin smiled remembering his conversation with the girl. "How is she?"

"She's great," Samantha said nodding. "She uhm... told me, about that day. When you got her to confess. Why did you let her keep the recorder?"

Martin looked at her solemnly. "We made a deal, if she would tell them everything that she just told me, she gets to keep it. I don't know why she wanted it, but it made her confess to where you were and everything."

"Oh," Samantha said nodding her head trying to understand why Martin would give her daughter the recording of him proclaiming his love for her. She knew that she shouldn't keep her hopes up that he actually told her daughter that but she couldn't help it. He said he loved her, and that was that.

"Yeah," Martin said nodding his head letting Samantha leave the elevator first before following her out into the hallway.

"I gotta check in with Jack first," Samantha said motioning Jack's office not far from where they were standing. "I just... can we talk? Later on?"

"If we aren't packed today," Martin said looking at his watch. "I could use lunch."

"What about dinner?" Samantha asked him wanting more time to talk to him.

Martin shook his head. "I have uhm... I have this thing that I have to go to."

Samantha's heart dropped. He was still seeing the woman that she saw him with. Well, what else would she honestly expect? That answered her question right there. Giving her lesser things to talk about with him.

"Then lunch it is," Samantha said forcing a smile to her face walking away to Jack's office.

"Hey, Samantha," Jack greeted her looking up from the paperwork that was in front of him. He had his reading glasses on and looked tired as if he hadn't been out of the office for a while. Though, he always looked like that.

"I've been given the all clear."

"Alright," Jack nodded his head already knowing that information. "It's just paperwork today. Take it easy."

"I will, thanks Jack," Samantha said with a smile walking out of Jack's office with her head up high hoping that she would make it through lunch in a few hours.

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Reviews, greatly appreciated (:


	18. Proclamation

I'm on a ROLL here (:  
I'll be attempting to concentrate on writing the end for you guys. I promise I won't drag it on (more than I already have).  
Kinda wishing to have this fic done by the end of next week. I have a bunch of free time now that school's (close to being) over.  
Reviews, please (:

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Chapter 18

It was a sunny day outside as Martin and Samantha sat down in the patio seating of a restaurant walking distance from their work. People here and there were constantly walking around and clamor was to be heard from each corner. The water had been set out for them to drink as they waited silently for their orders to come.

"So how are you liking your first day back?" Martin asked her looking around him.

"It's good," Samantha nodded her head. "I probably already have ten paper cuts from this morning. I just hope a case comes in... and Jack lets me out in the field."

A chuckle escaped Samantha's lips earning a curious gaze from Martin.

"It's just that, it's pretty mean of me to wish that someone be lost out there and family to work on. Oh, and not to mention the government expenses that we spend on finding people that can go to somewhere that benefits everyone," Samantha explained to him twirling around the straw of her strawberry lemonade drink.

Martin smiled at her nodding taking a sip of his water feeling a little more refreshed. "I see that you've had a lot of time to think about what it is we do and why, during your break."

"Well what else do you expect me to do? Clean up?" Samantha joked with him.

They both laughed lightly at the joke before it all went quiet again.

"Sam--"

"Martin--"

They said in unison and then smiled shyly.

"You go first," Martin said urging her on to say what she wanted to say. After all she was the one who invited him to have lunch with her. She must have something to say, and he already had a feeling he knew what it was all about.

"I just... I know you have a girlfriend and everything but I just wanted to know if... What you said, if it was true. I mean I wouldn't normally ask but old feelings die hard and..." Samantha rambled on. Martin listened to what she had to say sparking up a memory that had been plaguing his sleep for more than a couple of nights.

"_What do you have to be sorry for, Sarah?" Martin asked her playing as though he knew nothing of what Sarah was about to tell him._

"_I... I did it," Sarah sobbed tears falling from her eyes more than they already are. "I didn't mean it! I swear! I just..."_

"_What are you trying to tell me, Sarah?" Martin said taking out he recorder and placing it somewhere else so that the recording would be a little more clearer. Easier for the jury to convict Katerina and Max and whoever else were involved with taking Samantha. Though Sarah would have to be in the case as well, he really had no intention of her being behind bars. _

"_I did it," Sarah said calming down a bit breathing in hard. "I'm the one behind the people taking my mother. I'm the bad guy."_

"_How?" Martin asked making it seem like he was appalled by the new revelation._

"_I... I hated her," Sarah explained. "She left me, and I needed revenge. I needed to let her feel a glimpse of what I felt the last fourteen years."_

"_Miserable?" Martin guessed._

"_Unwanted, uncared for, unloved," Sarah continued. Martin only nodded his head knowing for a fact that Samantha Spade would never be unloved. He would always love her. Always._

"Martin, are you...?" Samantha asked unsure. She had given him about two minutes to reply and her impatient nature kicked in. "Never mind, I'm not hungry anymore."

Samantha pushed her chair out opting to get out of the seat to escape. She knew all about Martin reading those journals. She knew that he already knew that she loved him and for him not to feel the same ways was pure rejection.

"Sam, don't," Martin replied grabbing her hand that was on the table. "I meant it."

"You..." she trailed off not knowing what to say. She was so conflicted, not only about how Martin just about admitted that he loved her but her feelings as well. What was she going to do about that?

"_Why don't you just talk to him?" Sarah asked Samantha as they sat on the black leather couches talking and eating with the television on. They had been in the sharing mood since Martin had left the apartment. Sarah had finally convinced her estranged mother to share feelings with her. Something Samantha wasn't use to._

"_Because I can't," Samantha said in her motherly tone of voice that she surprises herself with. "I can't forgive him for what he did to me."_

"_You forgave me," Sarah pointed out to her mother not understanding what was going on in that mind of hers. How can she forgive someone who made up a plan to kidnap her and beat her up so bad that it almost killed her, and not forgive the man she loved?_

"_You're my daughter, that's different," she countered to her. "It's not the same thing. I have no choice but to forgive you. You're part of me."_

"_And he is too," Sarah told her. "He has your heart, and don't say otherwise Sa—Mom. I know, I can tell. That and Danny told me before I flew here before the whole..."_

"_Speaking of which, you never told me what had happened," Samantha said remembering that her daughter promised to tell her what happened in New York to finally break her. Finally get some senses in her brain washed thoughts about Samantha not loving her and leaving her for pure selfish purposes._

"_If you promise to talk to Martin, I'll tell you," Sarah told her already standing up and walking to her room._

"_Where are you going?" Samantha asked wondering why she stood up and was getting closer and closer to her door._

"_Promise me you'll talk to him," Sarah insisted._

"_Why? Why would I possibly talk to a man who – he knows I love him. Sar, he knows that he has my heart and he chose and chooses to just throw that away."_

"_I wouldn't be too sure about that."_

_Samantha looked at her daughter confused. "What are you talking about?"_

"_Just, promise me. That after I show you something, let you hear it, you'll talk to him about what he said," Sarah told her looking her in the eye wanting her to promise her. Samantha had never made a promise to her daughter. She did once, not so long ago and it wasn't one she would break. She hoped the same for now._

"_Fine, fine. You're such the Bossy person aren't you?" Samantha joked around._

"_Say it," Sarah insisted ignoring her mother's attempt to joke with them. "Promise."_

_'Fine, I promise to talk to Martin. What's all this fuss about?" Samantha asked._

_Sarah ran into her room picking up the recorder that was on top of everything running out to the living room and playing the recording near her mother's ear. She didn't know where she had stopped listening last night but the first things that came into the speaker of the small recorder was that from Martin's mouth:_

"_I love her, Sarah. I love her so much that I don't want anything to happen to her, and I hope you feel the same way."_

Martin nodded his head. "I told Sarah that I love you. It's not because I wanted Sarah to tell me where you are. It's not because I was an FBI agent on a mission to find the Missing Person. Wasn't even because of anything else. It was – is – because I love you. No matter what I do, how I try to move on, how I... I just love you, Samantha. And there's nothing you or I could do about it."

Samantha sat on her seat quietly not knowing what to say as the city noise filled the air. But just between that one table on the patio of a restaurant near the Federal Building, silence filled the air.

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Reviews, greatly appreciated (:


	19. Problems Solved

There was an alternate ending, but I thought I should give us MS shippers a happy ending one after the season finale.  
I hope you guys enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it.  
Thank you for everyone who reviewed and read this since the beginning (:  
And regarding an epilogue... no promises.

Reviews,please (:

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Chapter 19

_Dear Journal,_

She wrote looking down at the blank piece of paper wondering where to start. Her hostage situation; the one that her daughter had masterminded? Martin's proclamation of love to her? She couldn't think of what to write first.

_Dear Martin,_

She started scratching out, 'journal'. She had always found it easier talking to Martin and sharing her feelings with him. Those blue eyes that held so much compassion as he listened to her troubles. She missed them.

_I miss you. _

She sighed.

_A lot._

Samantha looked to her right seeing a picture of herself and Martin there. She had placed it there as soon as she got home. She smiled remembering the day that it was taken; Christmas time at the Tolands. One of the happiest times of her life.

_I put a picture of us in my house. I know I refused to do that when we were together because of my stupid neurosis. I'm sorry about that. I realize now that I had nothing to fear. If I had just done what my heart told me to do… I should stop listening to my brain._

She picked up the picture looking at it and tracing his face. His arms were wrapped around her and her hands on top of his. She was looking into his eyes a soft -- content – smile on both their faces.

_I'm sorry for the way I acted today, I just… I can't take picturing you with the other woman. That's why I ran to Kenosha. I needed to stop regretting my life; you __**are**__ one of my biggest regrets. Sarah, leaving her, is another one. Running there, I thought I'd solve a problem. You know, the ones you talked about when you broke up with me?_

_I use to believe in love. The magic. The excitement. The feelings. _

_Before my father left. Before Sarah's father left. _

_A single mother of two who worked on minimum wage. That was my mother. She didn't finish high school and had about a year into community college. She worked her ass off to put food on the table. Of course, that meant that we barely saw her. My sister and me. We raised each other. She was my mother, and I was hers. It's not as bad as it sounds but it's not ideal. I didn't want that for my daughter. I wanted more for her. I wanted her to have everything. I knew Katerina and Max were good people, I knew that they would do anything for her._

_You see, when Sarah's father left me, I… I didn't know what to do. I was young, and naïve. In love, too. When he left, I had no idea what to do. What am I suppose to do to raise my daughter by myself. I didn't… I __**don't**__ want to grow up to be like my mother. _

Samantha sighed staring up at the ceiling the picture now beside her trying to remember her mother. The rare times she would spend time with her. They were happy times, but nearly not enough. She sighed, another regret to add on her long list. She stared at the half blank piece of paper that now sat in front of her. With a sigh, she picked up the pen and started writing again.

_I worked myself up to be in community college._

_You don't need a PhD to be a cop._

_I tried it and made it. Of course, by then. I was already here, at New York with the rest of the two million people struggling to make their dreams a reality. Tears and dreams._

_I didn't want to be an agent. Much less a cop._

_I wanted to be a teacher, for elementary school kids helping them to get out into the real life. But every time I saw a child, I saw mine. A baby who depended on me for everything. I didn't know what she looked liked when I dreamt of her, but I knew she was beautiful._

_When I started protecting the streets and the citizens of New York. I realized that in a way I was helping protect her too. One less bad guy in the world to harm her sweet innocent face. But I had nightmares, of when she would be the victim. The small innocent child that did nothing but wasn't at the right place at the right time._

_The dreams stopped and were replaced with another since I met you._

"Not a bad smile either" Her first impression of Martin Fitzgerald. Second, it was after the fact that he was the boss' kid. Un-experienced and gets to be a part of one of the top Missing Person's Unit team in the nation. He must've had to suck up to Daddy Dearest to get the job.

_I thought you were just another one of those 'daddy's boys'. You proved me wrong though. You were a kind man, smart and over all just rare. A diamond, if you will. As I got to know you, Martin. I fell more and more each day. Until the fact that my father leaving me and my mother and sister didn't matter anymore. The fact that Gregory – my child's father left and that I left my own daughter. You were the one that I thought was going to save me._

_For almost a year, you managed to do so._

Samantha looked at the calendar surprised that tomorrow, if they were together, it would've been their one-year anniversary. A year since Jack was 'leaving' for Chicago. A year since she had asked him to share a cab with her.

_Oh how things have changed a year ago._

_I was lost, you found me._

_Now, I'm just lost again._

_But I have to be strong now. Sarah's living with me, and she's still growing every day. She apologizes just about everyday for what she had done. I told her that it brought about better things. That it was worth it because now, she was living with me. My daughter is with me. Happy and laughing. She's satisfied and I am too._

_Problem solved._

Samantha stood up telling Sarah that she had some errands to do and that she would be back later. Sarah just shrugged concentrating back on her homework as her mother hailed a cab giving the chubby nosey driver specific instructions. A quicker way to her destination. She didn't want to waste anymore time.

She knocked at his black painted door hoping for an answer. The clamor on the other side stopped for a moment as she heard feet shuffling towards the door.

With the paper in her hands, she breathed in hoping to get courage and energy.

"Sam?" Martin asked surprised to see her.

Without a word, Samantha handed Martin her journal and walked away.

_You don't have to wait around for me to solve them, Martin. Being with you, hearing you say what you said at lunch today. It solved all of them._

_I love you, too._

_I will, always, and there's nothing you can do about it._

_Except to take me back, and give me a chance right the wrongs._

_Samantha._

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Reviews, please.


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